Aspie Regiment

Just a follow-up on my previous post. 

Mr. Burton successfully earmarked $2,000,000 for the Christian Sarkine Autism Treatment Center.  I have issues with the word "treatment" with regards to autism in much the same way I do with dyslexia being a "learning disability".  Just because your brain is wired differently than "normal" doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.   OK, so good, he got money for autism research.  You might reasonably think I'm in favor of that.  Except, you'd be wrong, because he snuck it into a defense bill.  Specifically the part for "Research, Development, Testing and Evaluation"

Um, what?


How does that belong in a bill that also provides for research into *checks* alternative engine and advanced hypersonic weapons development?  There are two possibilities here, as I see it.  One, Dan Burton (unethically) got a $2M grant shoved into a completely unrelated appropriations bill for his pet issue.  Or, two, scientists are planning on turning the autistic into supersoldiers.  A congressman porkbarreling is unheardof, so I lean towards the latter being the case.

I have to say that the idea on the surface has some merits.  Let's see:  

• follows directions meticulously
• likes structure
• emotionally uninvolved
• doesn't panic

 
Except, I know this won't work.  We're not robots.  Sure, our rifles would be obsessively well-maintained, but actually every autistic person I've ever met doesn't like to kill anything.  I just went on a run and tried to step over bugs.  Also, I'm pretty sure something like this would happen.


"Johnson, Murphy, get your asses over there and lay down some covering fire!  Move it, ladies!"
*Johnson and Murphy stand there*
"What are you waiting for?"
"You said for the ladies to move it over there, Sarge."
"I meant you two, move it!"
*pling* "Uh, OK, Sarge ... Murphy hold up a minute, I've got some sand in the receiver, I need to clean it out."
"What are you two DOING?"
"Making sure my weapon functions optimally, Sarge."


You see the problem. So, no Aspie supersoldiers, please.  Just put us in charge of logistics, and all will be well.  I say this as a former ROTC cadet.