At my offspring's recent school orientation I was presented with an odd observation. As I looked down at my feet while traipsing through the corridors I noticed that I was pretty much the only woman not wearing flip-flops. Collecting data, I estimate that 90% of the females in attendance had toe wedgies. Toe wedgies of the wrong kind, she said sanctimoniously, as a frequent wearer of Vibram FiveFingers, which encase my toes in little individual pockets. They don't give me wedgies, however, and they are, in fact, while minimal, real shoes. As in I couldn't wear them into the shower. Yes, these really were $2 Wal-Mart flip-flops, not more expensive ones (*shudders at the idea that expensive flip-flops actually exist* So. Much. Wrongness.).
I realized as I was sitting there in the seventh circle of hell, that there's probably a very high correlation between wearing flip-flops and having a low Autism Spectrum Quotient. Why? Because no Aspie in their right mind would wear something so uncomfortable. You can't walk correctly in them and that little plastic/rubber thong is endlessly flossing your ... you know, there's no scientific name for the space between your toes. I hereby declare it's a toefjord. Anyway, there are no comfortable flip-flops, it's scientifically impossible. I did actually see several women limping, but most were making that odd shuffle with your feet you have to do to keep them from falling off. If you're going to wear ultra-casual shoes shouldn't they at least be comfortable? I thought that was the point of not wearing real ones.
I currently hypothesize that they're not shoes, they're display cases for your pedicure.
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