Why I Don't Have a pH Meter

As an analytical chemist you might expect that I have a lot of fancy gadgets to measure various parameters as I brew. Actually, I have the following: a bunch of thermometers, some of those glue-on liquid crystal temperature strips, a hydrometer, a refractometer, and some pH test strips. I could get rid of the refractometer, I only bought it because it was on sale and is useful as you are sparging to do a quick check on the gravity.

Yes, I just said I don't have a pH meter. This seems to astonish some people. Their reaction is usually to squeal, "how can you use strips, a meter is more accurate?!?" At which point I get to explain that, no, a pH meter is more precise than pH test strips, it is not more accurate. In fact, one could argue that pH strips are more accurate. Really? Oh, yes.

Many people fail to understand the difference between accuracy and precision. Accuracy is how close to the true value a measurement is. Precision is how large a spread the measurement has when it is repeated. There are data which have high accuracy but low precision and data with low accuracy and high precision. A pH meter (depending on how properly it is used) can be both accurate and precise, but is rarely as accurate as people think for various reasons. Test strips are graduated in about 0.25 unit increments (versus the 0.01 unit increments of a meter). They are less precise, by definition. However, they can be more accurate. To understand why, we need to look at the science behind both methods.

First, we need to think about what pH really is. Many people think that pH is a measurement of the concentration of the hydrogen ions in solution. It's actually a measurement of the hydrogen ion activity, which is a function of the hydrogen ion concentration, the temperature, and the ionic strength (the sum of all ions multiplied by their charge) of the solution.

A pH meter is a glass electrode that is measuring the potential drop across its surface. The drop is caused by hydrogen ions moving in and out of the glass as a function of their activity. This voltage potential is referenced to an internal reference electrode, usually a silver electrode in a saturated potassium chloride solution. The voltage generated is dependent upon the activity of the hydrogen ion and the temperature (again). Higher-end pH meters have a temperature sensor and will compensate. If you don't have one of those, you need to calibrate your pH meter at the temperature at which you will be taking your readings. For mash, this is around 150°F. Or, you can look at the little chart on the calibrant bottle and use that value to calibrate while you're at room temperature. Most people fail to do this, but at pH 4.0 the calibrant is off by 0.2 units at 150°F.

Now, the other thing about glass electrodes is that they depend upon a clean, well-hydrated surface so that the hydrogen ions can easily pass in and out of the glass. They can't do this if the surface is dirty (fouled). Nothing is better at fouling electrodes than solutions of proteins or sugars. Like mash. So, you need to clean the electrode with a special cleaning solution every once in a while. And store it in storage solution. And refill the internal standard. All of these activities are necessary, not negotiable.

I work in the pharmaceutical industry and we have specified ranges within which a product has to fall. These are something like 6.5-7.5 when the target pH is 7.0. Why so wide? Because even the high-end pH meters are considered to only be precise to about +/- 0.1 units. So, three standard deviations of that are +/- 0.3 units. What that means is that, if something has a true pH of 7.0 it will measure between 6.9 and 7.1 about 68% of the time. It will measure 6.8-6.9 or 7.1-7.2 a further 27% of the time.

So, let's put that in beer terms. Usually you are measuring the pH of your mash, and you want pH 5.2. Even my high end pH meters will tell me that it's 5.0-5.4. Most of the time it will be around 5.2. Does it really matter if you're more precise than that? Sure, the diastatic enzymes in your mash are balanced in activity between the alpha and beta amylases at 5.2, but that only helps you if the enzymes are in the same amount in each batch of grain. Which you can't know unless you're super anal retentive and measure the enzymatic activity in each new bag you get.

Strips, on the other hand, contain fixed mixtures of indicators; chemicals that change from one color to another as a function of pH. You dip the little piece of plastic into the mash and pull it out. You wait a couple of seconds for the color to develop and you read it. The temperature calibration is effectively self-correcting because the strip has a pretty small thermal mass, so you could assume it warms up to mash temp pretty quickly. As long as you don't mess around and let it cool off while you're trying to read it, you're set. The readout is defined by the mixture of indicators. For a given ratio of indicators, it's pre-calibrated! Just compare the color to the box. Store them so they don't get wet.

In the end, let's break it down in some easy math. Those little packets of pH meter calibration buffer cost around $1 each. You need two of them to calibrate the meter. They begin to change pH by absorbing carbon dioxide from the air as soon as you open the packet. Therefore, you can really only use them once. So, here you are. You can buy $2 worth of pH calibration solutions per brew day or you can spend about $0.40 per strip. That isn't including the initial $50-$100 outlay for a decent pH meter. That you have to calibrate at the proper temperature and make sure has a clean, properly maintained electrode. And which you will have to replace at least every 18 months.

So, strips are plenty accurate and precise for what you need, they don't require calibration, maintenance, or temperature compensation, and to top it all off, they're cheaper than a pH meter. It's up to you, but the next time one of your brew buddies gives you a hard time for dipping a strip in your mash, tell them an analytical chemist says they can stuff it.

Progressive Libertarians

I am a libertarian.  Unfortunately that means I get lumped into the same category as Glenn Beck and the Tea Party.  Let’s be brilliantly clear about this: they are not libertarians, they are paranoid hatemongering xenophobes.  It’s rather like thinking Fred Phelps is a good representative of Christianity.  I have very little in common with these opportunistic douches, and I would like to see the Libertarian Party stand up and publicly disavow them, but unfortunately the Party has largely been kidnapped by carpetbagging Republicans.  See the Cato Institute for a better example of libertarianism.

In fact, many old school libertarians are what would be called "classical liberals".  Classical liberalism is different from modern social liberalism.  Classical liberalism (see advocates the right of non-interference (from other individuals, businesses, and government) with personal liberty.  Modern liberalism states that individuals have a right to certain benefits.  

Libertarianism is fundamentally based on the naïve belief that people are capable of independently making intelligent and rational choices in their own lives.  Unfortunately this is demonstrably false in the United States in 2010 (see the mortgage crisis).  The political landscape, the way government has evolved in the last century, has created a society which, in certain segments, is not capable of doing this; either because they do not have the opportunity to choose in the first place or because they cannot make a good decision when they do get the opportunity.  For that reason, there has to be a safety net for those who need it.  As a political movement, therefore, libertarianism should be directed to seeing how we can help those segments of society who are not capable become capable.  This is going to require a really hard look at why people do not have the education, the jobs, the opportunities they need to become successful.  This is a fundamentally different philosophy than the two major parties currently operating in the United States who put band-aids.  It is progressive because it advocates change (contrary to popular belief progressive and conservative are attitudes, not political stances).  By the way when did "progressive" become anathema to the Faux News crowd?  Theodore Roosevelt founded the Progressive Party, and he was a Republican.

So, please, Republicans.  You're not Libertarians, Libertarians are fundamentally opposed to your stances on same-sex marriage, immigration, drugs, and foreign policy just to name a few.   

Aspergers and Empathy, Part 1

I saw a video the other day on YouTube called The Empathic Civilization.  You can see it here. 

While very thought-provoking as a talk it made me uncomfortable, perhaps even feel beaten upon.  The ending premise is that humans need to bring out "empathic sociability" and prepare the groundwork for an "empathic civilization", which Prof. Rifkin believes is necessary for us to continue as a species.  Without this empathy we will turn to narcissism, materialism, and aggression rather than showing solidarity with each other and the rest of the biosphere.  If you listen closely he refers to humans as Homo empathicus, which is essentially saying that empathy is what makes us human.  The only problem with that premise is: there is no place for me in such a world.  Nor, I suspect, is there a place for my fellow autistics.

I've spent a long time in self-examination since discovering I am on the autistic spectrum.  One of the things you will find is that there is a great deal of debate as to whether or not autistic people feel empathy.  I have read a lot of papers, studied many definitions of the word "empathy", and I can tell you it is my belief that I personally do not have empathy.  I suspect that my fellow autistics also technically do not experience empathy. 

Which is not to say that autistic people are not capable of feeling emotions, quite the contrary.  In fact, I believe that autistic people in many ways feel more strongly than a neurotypical does.  Here's some interesting facts.  It is estimated that 85% of autistic people suffer from alexithymia, which is the inability to correctly identify and describe emotional states in themselves or in others.  However, once they are aware of another person's frame of mind, the autistic person actually seems to respond much more strongly than a neurotypical does.  As a result, there is some evidence that autistics repress the ability to empathize with others because it is too painful.

I'm an analytical chemist, my job is to understand what is being measured, what the true signal is.  What if the reason autistic people appear to not be able to identify emotions in others is that we do not feel the same emotions as other humans?  It would be like expecting a blind person to explain the color green.  Maybe we can't describe our emotions the way a neurotypical does because to us it is experienced so differently that we lack a common vocabulary. 

It's not that people with ASDs do not have empathy, but that the entire concept of empathy is not really applicable.  Does that make us less human?    

Things Neurotypicals Like, Episode 2: Flip-flops

At my offspring's recent school orientation I was presented with an odd observation.  As I looked down at my feet while traipsing through the corridors I noticed that I was pretty much the only woman not wearing flip-flops.  Collecting data, I estimate that 90% of the females in attendance had toe wedgies.  Toe wedgies of the wrong kind, she said sanctimoniously, as a frequent wearer of Vibram FiveFingers, which encase my toes in little individual pockets.  They don't give me wedgies, however, and they are, in fact, while minimal, real shoes.  As in I couldn't wear them into the shower.  Yes, these really were $2 Wal-Mart flip-flops, not more expensive ones (*shudders at the idea that expensive flip-flops actually exist* So. Much. Wrongness.). 

I realized as I was sitting there in the seventh circle of hell, that there's probably a very high correlation between wearing flip-flops and having a low Autism Spectrum Quotient.  Why?  Because no Aspie in their right mind would wear something so uncomfortable.  You can't walk correctly in them and that little plastic/rubber thong is endlessly flossing your ... you know, there's no scientific name for the space between your toes.  I hereby declare it's a toefjord.  Anyway, there are no comfortable flip-flops, it's scientifically impossible.  I did actually see several women limping, but most were making that odd shuffle with your feet you have to do to keep them from falling off.  If you're going to wear ultra-casual shoes shouldn't they at least be comfortable?  I thought that was the point of not wearing real ones.

I currently hypothesize that they're not shoes, they're display cases for your pedicure.

Things Neurotypicals Like, Episode 1: Cornhole

This is going to be a new feature on my blog.  It's going to discuss things neurotypicals seem to like, but I don't get.  First up, the national sport of Indiana: cornhole.

I have two kids in school, so I know they're not really learning anything there.  Fortunately they can both read, so they get these things at the library ... that have information in them ... if only they had a name ... oh, right, books.  They go a couple of times a week and are required to obtain non-fiction books as well as novels.  It makes for some interesting conversations, such as when you have to answer the "Mama, what's the Holocaust?" question from One of Two, but he's ten and old enough to learn that real monsters aren't the things hiding in your closet.  Which is why I was irritated by this:

 

Asperger's Moment alert!  Let's examine the diorama this child has obviously spent a while creating.  I don't want to take anything away from his work, it's nicely put together, but it's got some serious historical inaccuracies (not to mention the fact that the name of the battle is spelled incorrectly).  Take a second to look really hard at the jeep just above the word "battle".  Yes, the one with the U.S. markings on it.  The Battle of El-Alamein was fought between the Germans and the British*.  The second battle of El-Alamein was fought in November 1942, before Operation Torch landed American forces in North Africa.  Please, go to the library and do some research or get on the computer and use Wikipedia.  It only takes a minute and you'll learn something.  Montgomery's ability to stop Rommel's Afrika Korps from taking the Suez Canal was kind of a big deal.  Remember kids: "Before Alamein we never had a victory; after Alamein we never had a defeat."  

*Great Britain, New Zealand, Australia, South Africa and India, since they're no longer part of the Commonwealth

Which brings me naturally to cornhole.  OK, that connection isn't obvious, the diorama above was on display at the Indiana State Fair, which is where I also saw this:

Let's examine the cornhole *snicker* phenomenon for just a second.  Here's the game:  you have a bag full of corn kernels that you throw at a piece of wood with a hole in it.  I gather you can control the degree of "difficulty" by changing the angle of the holey board.  Now, I want to get out front that "cornhole" is the most unfortunately named leisure activity ever.  In the history of anything.  If you're my age you have an immediate image of Beavis running around with his t-shirt pulled up over his head yelling "Bunghole!" The dear, sweet Hoosiers, however, are generally oblivious to this connection and meet "Cornhole?  Are you threatening me?" with bemused grins.  In fact, they don't get that the name "cornhole" is funny in and of itself without the Beavis and Butthead reference.  So much so that my employer gleefully encourages us to cornhole for fitness.  I even have a red t-shirt they gave me that says "CORNHOLE" in big white letters across the chest.  If only they had put it on some shorts.  How much fitness is standing in one place and lobbing beanbags a few feet going to get you?   Now, look at the price: $150 for a couple of unpainted pieces of wood, each with a hole in it, and a couple of bags of corn kernels.  I've seen other sets cost as much, so somebody is paying this ridiculous amount of money for them.  I don't get it.  For $150 I can get three XBOX games and have way more fun shooting Nazis or collecting Lego studs.  I guarantee my heart rate will be higher, as well.

My Trip to the Gulf Coast, or How Gulfport, MS Got Screwed

The last time I went to Gulfport, MS was in July of 2005.  About a month later Hurricane Katrina unleashed a 28-foot storm surge that essentially erased the town, demolishing 90% of the buildings.  I waited five years to go back, giving adequate time to rebuild.  What I found was that most of the Mississippi gulf coast still looks like this:

It was a little disheartening to find that only about 50% of the lots are occupied.  New Orleans got all the press, but Gulfport was literally wiped off the map and more than 200 people were killed.  Yeah, I'm going to fall back on my original premise that, since the media didn't really publicize this, Gulfport and the rest of the coast got screwed because they had a worse time than NOLA.  Which isn't to say what happened there wasn't awful, but, really, New Orleans is almost back to normal (I went there, too) and MS is still recovering.

You know what's not helping?  This:

 
Those guys are contractors hired by BP to clean up the oil spill from the Deepwater Horizon.  They were standing around not doing anything.  What you don't see are people on the beach ... because there aren't any.  Would you want to go in the water where THIS is lurking:

That snot ball is a combination of chemical dispersant and oil.  The camera doesn't adequately capture the texture; it's disgusting.  So is this:

The orange streaks are liquid oil that the clams and hermit crabs have dislodged.  The oil hits the beach and soaks in, but the burrowers pull it back up when they move.  Not gross enough yet?

That's a couple of tar balls; they look like someone sprinkled chocolate chips on the hot sand.  This crap is apparently going to be showing up for years.  Not cool, and this is the less-affected part of the coast.  I feel terrible for Gulfport, they need the tourist and fishing dollars to rebuild, but the oil spill is making that difficult.

OK, my rant's over, I'll leave with this:

That's the trunk of a live oak tree killed during Katrina.  They've sculpted them, which I think is lovely and very positive.

Learning Disabilities

Dear Stephen Fry (two of my personal favorite ABOFAL sketches here and here) posted a link on Twitter to a charity dedicated to removing the stigma from people with "learning disabilities".  Not his phrase, they use it on their website.  In fact, as an Aspie married to a clinically depressed dyscalculeic, I wholeheartedly support their mission and encourage you to support it.  However, as I have Tweeted before, the phrase "learning disability" really pisses me off.

Allow me to explain.  There's a reason autistic people are no longer called "mentally retarded".  It's because research has shown that often people on the autistic spectrum, particularly those with Asperger's Syndrome, have IQs well above-average.  (Insert your own comment about how IQ tests are negatively biased against the neurodiverse here.  Think about it, who writes them?)  Our brains are wired differently than is neurotypical, true, but it does not mean we are disabled.  Does it mean that we process things differently than 99.99% of the population?  Yes.  Does it mean that, as a teacher, you may have to use *shock* a different teaching strategy for these kids?  Yes, yes it does. 

Here's what I really want to say to my neurodiverse brothers and sisters, whether you are on the autistic spectrum or are dyslexic or dyscalculeic or dysnumeric or dysgraphic, etc.:

Your mental faculty is a gift. 

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  While the neurotypical are a homogenous bunch and tend to produce homogenous thoughts, we are the ones thinking differently.  The truly great, bizarre ideas will come from our heads, because they are not restricted to the narrow, stereotyped patterns of the majority. 

Learn to use your gift.  There will be obstacles, I won't lie to you.  It will be hard.  You may have to figure out how to teach yourself, I did.  But the rewards are worth it.  There are people who will love you for who you are, don't hide it.  If you do, you will be miserable (ask me how I know this).

Oh, and in case Stephen Fry ever reads this:  my name is Agatha.  Yes, I am named after her.