Progressive Libertarians

I am a libertarian.  Unfortunately that means I get lumped into the same category as Glenn Beck and the Tea Party.  Let’s be brilliantly clear about this: they are not libertarians, they are paranoid hatemongering xenophobes.  It’s rather like thinking Fred Phelps is a good representative of Christianity.  I have very little in common with these opportunistic douches, and I would like to see the Libertarian Party stand up and publicly disavow them, but unfortunately the Party has largely been kidnapped by carpetbagging Republicans.  See the Cato Institute for a better example of libertarianism.

In fact, many old school libertarians are what would be called "classical liberals".  Classical liberalism is different from modern social liberalism.  Classical liberalism (see advocates the right of non-interference (from other individuals, businesses, and government) with personal liberty.  Modern liberalism states that individuals have a right to certain benefits.  

Libertarianism is fundamentally based on the naïve belief that people are capable of independently making intelligent and rational choices in their own lives.  Unfortunately this is demonstrably false in the United States in 2010 (see the mortgage crisis).  The political landscape, the way government has evolved in the last century, has created a society which, in certain segments, is not capable of doing this; either because they do not have the opportunity to choose in the first place or because they cannot make a good decision when they do get the opportunity.  For that reason, there has to be a safety net for those who need it.  As a political movement, therefore, libertarianism should be directed to seeing how we can help those segments of society who are not capable become capable.  This is going to require a really hard look at why people do not have the education, the jobs, the opportunities they need to become successful.  This is a fundamentally different philosophy than the two major parties currently operating in the United States who put band-aids.  It is progressive because it advocates change (contrary to popular belief progressive and conservative are attitudes, not political stances).  By the way when did "progressive" become anathema to the Faux News crowd?  Theodore Roosevelt founded the Progressive Party, and he was a Republican.

So, please, Republicans.  You're not Libertarians, Libertarians are fundamentally opposed to your stances on same-sex marriage, immigration, drugs, and foreign policy just to name a few.   

Aspergers and Empathy, Part 1

I saw a video the other day on YouTube called The Empathic Civilization.  You can see it here. 

While very thought-provoking as a talk it made me uncomfortable, perhaps even feel beaten upon.  The ending premise is that humans need to bring out "empathic sociability" and prepare the groundwork for an "empathic civilization", which Prof. Rifkin believes is necessary for us to continue as a species.  Without this empathy we will turn to narcissism, materialism, and aggression rather than showing solidarity with each other and the rest of the biosphere.  If you listen closely he refers to humans as Homo empathicus, which is essentially saying that empathy is what makes us human.  The only problem with that premise is: there is no place for me in such a world.  Nor, I suspect, is there a place for my fellow autistics.

I've spent a long time in self-examination since discovering I am on the autistic spectrum.  One of the things you will find is that there is a great deal of debate as to whether or not autistic people feel empathy.  I have read a lot of papers, studied many definitions of the word "empathy", and I can tell you it is my belief that I personally do not have empathy.  I suspect that my fellow autistics also technically do not experience empathy. 

Which is not to say that autistic people are not capable of feeling emotions, quite the contrary.  In fact, I believe that autistic people in many ways feel more strongly than a neurotypical does.  Here's some interesting facts.  It is estimated that 85% of autistic people suffer from alexithymia, which is the inability to correctly identify and describe emotional states in themselves or in others.  However, once they are aware of another person's frame of mind, the autistic person actually seems to respond much more strongly than a neurotypical does.  As a result, there is some evidence that autistics repress the ability to empathize with others because it is too painful.

I'm an analytical chemist, my job is to understand what is being measured, what the true signal is.  What if the reason autistic people appear to not be able to identify emotions in others is that we do not feel the same emotions as other humans?  It would be like expecting a blind person to explain the color green.  Maybe we can't describe our emotions the way a neurotypical does because to us it is experienced so differently that we lack a common vocabulary. 

It's not that people with ASDs do not have empathy, but that the entire concept of empathy is not really applicable.  Does that make us less human?    

Things Neurotypicals Like, Episode 2: Flip-flops

At my offspring's recent school orientation I was presented with an odd observation.  As I looked down at my feet while traipsing through the corridors I noticed that I was pretty much the only woman not wearing flip-flops.  Collecting data, I estimate that 90% of the females in attendance had toe wedgies.  Toe wedgies of the wrong kind, she said sanctimoniously, as a frequent wearer of Vibram FiveFingers, which encase my toes in little individual pockets.  They don't give me wedgies, however, and they are, in fact, while minimal, real shoes.  As in I couldn't wear them into the shower.  Yes, these really were $2 Wal-Mart flip-flops, not more expensive ones (*shudders at the idea that expensive flip-flops actually exist* So. Much. Wrongness.). 

I realized as I was sitting there in the seventh circle of hell, that there's probably a very high correlation between wearing flip-flops and having a low Autism Spectrum Quotient.  Why?  Because no Aspie in their right mind would wear something so uncomfortable.  You can't walk correctly in them and that little plastic/rubber thong is endlessly flossing your ... you know, there's no scientific name for the space between your toes.  I hereby declare it's a toefjord.  Anyway, there are no comfortable flip-flops, it's scientifically impossible.  I did actually see several women limping, but most were making that odd shuffle with your feet you have to do to keep them from falling off.  If you're going to wear ultra-casual shoes shouldn't they at least be comfortable?  I thought that was the point of not wearing real ones.

I currently hypothesize that they're not shoes, they're display cases for your pedicure.

Things Neurotypicals Like, Episode 1: Cornhole

This is going to be a new feature on my blog.  It's going to discuss things neurotypicals seem to like, but I don't get.  First up, the national sport of Indiana: cornhole.

I have two kids in school, so I know they're not really learning anything there.  Fortunately they can both read, so they get these things at the library ... that have information in them ... if only they had a name ... oh, right, books.  They go a couple of times a week and are required to obtain non-fiction books as well as novels.  It makes for some interesting conversations, such as when you have to answer the "Mama, what's the Holocaust?" question from One of Two, but he's ten and old enough to learn that real monsters aren't the things hiding in your closet.  Which is why I was irritated by this:

 

Asperger's Moment alert!  Let's examine the diorama this child has obviously spent a while creating.  I don't want to take anything away from his work, it's nicely put together, but it's got some serious historical inaccuracies (not to mention the fact that the name of the battle is spelled incorrectly).  Take a second to look really hard at the jeep just above the word "battle".  Yes, the one with the U.S. markings on it.  The Battle of El-Alamein was fought between the Germans and the British*.  The second battle of El-Alamein was fought in November 1942, before Operation Torch landed American forces in North Africa.  Please, go to the library and do some research or get on the computer and use Wikipedia.  It only takes a minute and you'll learn something.  Montgomery's ability to stop Rommel's Afrika Korps from taking the Suez Canal was kind of a big deal.  Remember kids: "Before Alamein we never had a victory; after Alamein we never had a defeat."  

*Great Britain, New Zealand, Australia, South Africa and India, since they're no longer part of the Commonwealth

Which brings me naturally to cornhole.  OK, that connection isn't obvious, the diorama above was on display at the Indiana State Fair, which is where I also saw this:

Let's examine the cornhole *snicker* phenomenon for just a second.  Here's the game:  you have a bag full of corn kernels that you throw at a piece of wood with a hole in it.  I gather you can control the degree of "difficulty" by changing the angle of the holey board.  Now, I want to get out front that "cornhole" is the most unfortunately named leisure activity ever.  In the history of anything.  If you're my age you have an immediate image of Beavis running around with his t-shirt pulled up over his head yelling "Bunghole!" The dear, sweet Hoosiers, however, are generally oblivious to this connection and meet "Cornhole?  Are you threatening me?" with bemused grins.  In fact, they don't get that the name "cornhole" is funny in and of itself without the Beavis and Butthead reference.  So much so that my employer gleefully encourages us to cornhole for fitness.  I even have a red t-shirt they gave me that says "CORNHOLE" in big white letters across the chest.  If only they had put it on some shorts.  How much fitness is standing in one place and lobbing beanbags a few feet going to get you?   Now, look at the price: $150 for a couple of unpainted pieces of wood, each with a hole in it, and a couple of bags of corn kernels.  I've seen other sets cost as much, so somebody is paying this ridiculous amount of money for them.  I don't get it.  For $150 I can get three XBOX games and have way more fun shooting Nazis or collecting Lego studs.  I guarantee my heart rate will be higher, as well.

My Trip to the Gulf Coast, or How Gulfport, MS Got Screwed

The last time I went to Gulfport, MS was in July of 2005.  About a month later Hurricane Katrina unleashed a 28-foot storm surge that essentially erased the town, demolishing 90% of the buildings.  I waited five years to go back, giving adequate time to rebuild.  What I found was that most of the Mississippi gulf coast still looks like this:

It was a little disheartening to find that only about 50% of the lots are occupied.  New Orleans got all the press, but Gulfport was literally wiped off the map and more than 200 people were killed.  Yeah, I'm going to fall back on my original premise that, since the media didn't really publicize this, Gulfport and the rest of the coast got screwed because they had a worse time than NOLA.  Which isn't to say what happened there wasn't awful, but, really, New Orleans is almost back to normal (I went there, too) and MS is still recovering.

You know what's not helping?  This:

 
Those guys are contractors hired by BP to clean up the oil spill from the Deepwater Horizon.  They were standing around not doing anything.  What you don't see are people on the beach ... because there aren't any.  Would you want to go in the water where THIS is lurking:

That snot ball is a combination of chemical dispersant and oil.  The camera doesn't adequately capture the texture; it's disgusting.  So is this:

The orange streaks are liquid oil that the clams and hermit crabs have dislodged.  The oil hits the beach and soaks in, but the burrowers pull it back up when they move.  Not gross enough yet?

That's a couple of tar balls; they look like someone sprinkled chocolate chips on the hot sand.  This crap is apparently going to be showing up for years.  Not cool, and this is the less-affected part of the coast.  I feel terrible for Gulfport, they need the tourist and fishing dollars to rebuild, but the oil spill is making that difficult.

OK, my rant's over, I'll leave with this:

That's the trunk of a live oak tree killed during Katrina.  They've sculpted them, which I think is lovely and very positive.

Learning Disabilities

Dear Stephen Fry (two of my personal favorite ABOFAL sketches here and here) posted a link on Twitter to a charity dedicated to removing the stigma from people with "learning disabilities".  Not his phrase, they use it on their website.  In fact, as an Aspie married to a clinically depressed dyscalculeic, I wholeheartedly support their mission and encourage you to support it.  However, as I have Tweeted before, the phrase "learning disability" really pisses me off.

Allow me to explain.  There's a reason autistic people are no longer called "mentally retarded".  It's because research has shown that often people on the autistic spectrum, particularly those with Asperger's Syndrome, have IQs well above-average.  (Insert your own comment about how IQ tests are negatively biased against the neurodiverse here.  Think about it, who writes them?)  Our brains are wired differently than is neurotypical, true, but it does not mean we are disabled.  Does it mean that we process things differently than 99.99% of the population?  Yes.  Does it mean that, as a teacher, you may have to use *shock* a different teaching strategy for these kids?  Yes, yes it does. 

Here's what I really want to say to my neurodiverse brothers and sisters, whether you are on the autistic spectrum or are dyslexic or dyscalculeic or dysnumeric or dysgraphic, etc.:

Your mental faculty is a gift. 

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  While the neurotypical are a homogenous bunch and tend to produce homogenous thoughts, we are the ones thinking differently.  The truly great, bizarre ideas will come from our heads, because they are not restricted to the narrow, stereotyped patterns of the majority. 

Learn to use your gift.  There will be obstacles, I won't lie to you.  It will be hard.  You may have to figure out how to teach yourself, I did.  But the rewards are worth it.  There are people who will love you for who you are, don't hide it.  If you do, you will be miserable (ask me how I know this).

Oh, and in case Stephen Fry ever reads this:  my name is Agatha.  Yes, I am named after her.

Aspie Regiment

Just a follow-up on my previous post. 

Mr. Burton successfully earmarked $2,000,000 for the Christian Sarkine Autism Treatment Center.  I have issues with the word "treatment" with regards to autism in much the same way I do with dyslexia being a "learning disability".  Just because your brain is wired differently than "normal" doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.   OK, so good, he got money for autism research.  You might reasonably think I'm in favor of that.  Except, you'd be wrong, because he snuck it into a defense bill.  Specifically the part for "Research, Development, Testing and Evaluation"

Um, what?


How does that belong in a bill that also provides for research into *checks* alternative engine and advanced hypersonic weapons development?  There are two possibilities here, as I see it.  One, Dan Burton (unethically) got a $2M grant shoved into a completely unrelated appropriations bill for his pet issue.  Or, two, scientists are planning on turning the autistic into supersoldiers.  A congressman porkbarreling is unheardof, so I lean towards the latter being the case.

I have to say that the idea on the surface has some merits.  Let's see:  

• follows directions meticulously
• likes structure
• emotionally uninvolved
• doesn't panic

 
Except, I know this won't work.  We're not robots.  Sure, our rifles would be obsessively well-maintained, but actually every autistic person I've ever met doesn't like to kill anything.  I just went on a run and tried to step over bugs.  Also, I'm pretty sure something like this would happen.


"Johnson, Murphy, get your asses over there and lay down some covering fire!  Move it, ladies!"
*Johnson and Murphy stand there*
"What are you waiting for?"
"You said for the ladies to move it over there, Sarge."
"I meant you two, move it!"
*pling* "Uh, OK, Sarge ... Murphy hold up a minute, I've got some sand in the receiver, I need to clean it out."
"What are you two DOING?"
"Making sure my weapon functions optimally, Sarge."


You see the problem. So, no Aspie supersoldiers, please.  Just put us in charge of logistics, and all will be well.  I say this as a former ROTC cadet.

Why I should, but (probably) won't, run against Dan Burton

I guess it's not giving away too much location info to say that I live in Indiana's 5th Congressional District.  Yeah, it's not jerrymandered at all, you can tell by the shape.  Our elected representative is Dan Burton.  I have a problem with this guy representing me on a number of levels.

1)  Only 18% of his campaign contributions come from within his own state
2)  He is one of the most conservative members of Congress
3)  He's one of the thimerosol/vaccine alarmists

One person who knows this is the Secretary of the Hamilton County Libertarian Party, who at the moment is sitting in his robe slurping coffee and catching up on the news on a 10 year old Powerbook.  The HCLP is always looking for candidates for office.  Our district is so heavily Republican that a dead cat would be elected to office as long as his name appeared as Zombie Kitty (R).  The only hope is the Libertarian party, which most people around here at least do recognize as being fiscally conservative (the fact that we're incredibly socially liberal seems to escape notice).  A properly placed Libertarian could probably swing enough of the Democrat vote to get elected along with the demoralized Republicans who also happen to think Mr. Burton is a joke.  This has not gone undiscussed with Mr. Melanistic Penguin and apparently the rest of the HCLP would just crap themselves with joy if I chose to run.

Why?  First of all, even though I work for the pharmaceutical company that created thimerosol, for obvious reasons he can't possibly use it against me without looking like a complete tool.  Second, I'm smarter and prettier than he is.  We all know by now how important being pretty is to the conservatives, the difference here being that, unlike Caribou Barbie, I'm not a clueless moron.  According to people who know me, I also present myself very well and I'm oddly persuasive.  That's weird, but I guess it's true.

The reason I can't run is two-fold.  One, getting out and talking to people would be very draining for me.  Two, I might actually win.  I've spent my entire life since I was 18 honing my career, but I'd have to kill it to go to Washington.  Could I really do that?  I don't know.  A couple of years ago, that would have been a clear "no" but now my feelings are much less clear.  Working in Corporate America is becoming an increasingly soul-crushing experience and, frankly, I wouldn't mind a change.  But the bigger answer is that sometimes you've just got to stand up and do something.  Cause a fuss and make a difference.  How can I look at my kids and tell them I'm a responsible citizen when I'm too chicken shit to just run for office?  That bothers me.  It would be hard, but my original goal in life was to join the Air Force and become an astronaut, so that doesn't really bother me.

I'm gonna go hop on the bike and over-analyze some more.  I have until April 15th to decide.

Growing up with Asperger's

Today is Autism Awareness Day.  I thought I'd jot down some random disconnected thoughts about my experience as a high-functioning autistic. 

I've never felt human. I don't know what humans feel like, exactly, but I'm pretty sure I'm not like that. As far back in my childhood as I can remember I was different.   At some point I decided I wasn't actually human ... I was an exile living amongst them, condemned to a life of isolation with the poo-throwing monkeys.


When other kids were reading their books I devoured entire biographies of Joan of Arc, Elizabeth I, and Queen Victoria.  History books, science books, you name it, I read it.  My mind is kind of like Wikipedia as an adult except that the links are surreal.  I tend to blurt out strange things as a result.  Example: my sister started talking about some new candy bar she had eaten and why she had liked it.  My response: "I had Rolos last week." *awkward silence* Yes, I sounded like a complete retard.  But somehow the link makes sense to me.  Here's how it went (except no words, it's more pictures and sensations):

candy bars ... what are my favorite candy bars? ... Hmm, I like Rolos ... I had some Rolos last week ... Twix ... they're kinda like Rolos with a cookie inside! ... hunh, both of them are chocolate and caramel ... do I especially like candy bars with chocolate and caramel? ... yeah, I like Milky Ways ... but not Three Musketeers ... Three Musketeers have the nougat but not the caramel, so that's a good control ...

Out of the box thinking?  I don't even have a box.

As a child I would feel horribly awkward and sink into myself.  As an adult I've come to realize that there's a certain segment of the population that actually finds this charming (I suspect this population also can recite Monty Python sketches verbatim).  Luckily, I've found some of them. 

The Strange Relationship I Have With My SatNag

One of the benefits of being highly visually oriented is that I have an excellent memory for maps.  I have rarely gotten lost if I've seen a map of a place.  Also, if I've been somewhere once I can get there again >90% of the time.  Coupled with an excellent memory, it means I rarely get lost.  Thus I developed something of a derisive attitude towards SatNav systems.  I have an atlas, why do I need one?  Well, it turns out what I really wanted one for was realtime traffic updates.

Thus I have acquired a TomTom XL, which is now a fixture on my windshield. But already I have developed an odd relationship with it.  Many trips to Cape Hatteras with people who had SatNavs convinced me that one of the pure joys of having one was picking a voice that your passengers despised with the burning intensity of a thousand suns.  Apparently there's nothing more amusing than torturing your trapped friends and family with an incredibly annoying voice for hours on end.  I suspect SatNav Rage is an underreported crime.  Which is why my TomTom happily chides me in the slurry tones of Eddie Izzard ("Thank God you're here, I can shut up now").

This isn't my problem.  My problem is that TomTom tries to tell me what to do, and I don't like it.  I got a SatNag and I'm annoyed it functions properly.  Fucking bizarre, nicht war? 

So, I have taken to toying with it.  I've intentionally not taken a turn it wants me to take just to make it "recalculate" and annoy it.  It's a computer, I know that, but still I find it strangely satisfying.

Here's my other problem, I suspect that I have unintentionally acquired some sort of greater public responsibility.  TomTom allegedly updates a database with real data to decide on the fastest route.  What if you, like me, intentionally ignore its advice when you know it's wrong?  How will the Mythical TomTom Database ever learn?  It will never gather the data it needs if some of us don't make a small sacrifice of time.  I'm serious, I'm actually wondering this.

Being hyperanalytical sucks sometimes.